On Wednesday, November 11th, the day began like any other work day. I got up, got ready, and went in. I wasn't feeling the greatest, my stomach kind of hurt, my back was aching-I just needed to rest. I used a heating pad at work, and it did make me feel slightly better, so I drank water and rested, and finished my day. When I got home, I took a warm bath. Between the pressure taken off of my belly, and the warm water on my back, I decided to go to sleep. But what I woke up to was a nightmare...

   At around 2am, I was awoken by some pretty intense pressure and awful back pain. I sat up, and immediately knew something was wrong. I stood up to go to the bathroom and felt a pop, and a huge gush. I grew frantic. I flipped on the light, started screaming that we needed to go to the ER. I was flailing my arms, standing firmly in the same spot, as if moving would trigger something greater to happen. I was as still as could be, while my whole world flashed before my eyes.

   The ground was covered in snow, and the car was sliding everywhere. Luckily it was so early in the morning that we didn't have to worry about any other cars. On our way, I called the charge nurse and I told her what she could expect. I told her I was almost 20 weeks pregnant, that my water had broken, and that we would be there shortly. I wanted them to have everything ready for us.

  As we arrived, I was somewhat relieved. I was happy to know that we were somewhere safe-with people who took care of things like this for a living. I just wanted her to be okay.

   They took me to a room in the back, away from everyone else. Maybe so no one would hear my cries, as to not upset anyone else there. Maybe because they knew what was going to happen and they didn't want us to have an audience of passers by. I sat down on the bed, after changing into a gown. I expected they would hook me up to the monitor so I could see how close my contractions were. I expected they would do an AmniSure test to make sure it really was amniotic fluid. I expected compassion. I didn't get any of that. 

   The one thing they did do, was order an ultrasound. When the tech arrived, I saw my baby girl moving around and doing flips. Kicking her legs and holding her hands over her eyes like she always did. She was okay.

  My contractions were getting worse. Less than 2 minutes apart. I knew that if I progressed, my baby would come fast, being so small. I was in pain, but I couldn't feel it. I was so numb. They kept offering pain pills, they wanted to sedate me. I didn't want any of it. I wanted to feel every movement she made. I needed to be in control of my body since no one was wanting to do anything. Shortly later, they got ahold of my OBGYN, who demanded they take me to the L&D floor. The ride up was something I will never forget. They wheeled me down a cold, white, hallway that led us in the back way. I remember seeing doctors going to and from the OR, in green scrubs, and masks. I cried the whole way but I was relieved to be out of the ER and going to somewhere they could actually do something. A place they WOULD actually do something. 

   Once I got to my room, I was helped onto the delivery bed. I looked around, the room was full of things. There was an incubator. There was an infant warmer. I saw all the delivery tools, and a table laid out with everything they would need to deliver my baby. There were a few nurses. Everyone was waiting for us. After only minutes, my doctor appeared through the doorway. He looked like an angel, he was wearing a long black wool jacket-something you would wear to a nice dinner. He had on normal street clothes, and a scarf. The nurse helped him with his coat and he immediately put on gloves. He ran over, sat down and told me he needed to check me, see where we were. My world stopped. 

   He looked up at me through his glasses, and he said to me, "You have to deliver this baby. I am going to need you to push." I screamed and cried and told him, "NO, NO I will not push!! She isn't ready!! She can't come!I don't want to push." As I lay there still, doing everything I could to not push, the nurse laid a blanket on my tummy..

   My beautiful baby girl was born at 4:14 in the morning weighing 5oz. at 7 1/2 inches long. She was perfect.